Last night was a beautiful moment of worship – the kind every worship leader longs for.
No, it wasn’t that the sound was pristine, in ear mixes where perfect, or the band was tight. It wasn’t even that the songs were particularly great. It didn’t even involve a massive crowd.
It all started with screaming children.
Both kids were having a hard time falling asleep. So naturally, I decided we were going to sing. Tyler greeted the idea with an enthusiastic “Yeahhh!” So that’s what we did.
We sang Cornerstone, Jesus Loves Me, Christ Be All Around Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children, Christ Has Come, and more. Tyler was singing with me word for word. Eliana’s worship involved some loud shouting, hand raising, and shaking of the hips – probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
Before you think of me more highly than you ought, that’s not how every night goes.
But there was something powerful about just being present with my kids and singing about Jesus. I wasn’t preoccupied with my phone. I wasn’t thinking about this blog post. My mind wasn’t somewhere else. I was there, with them, worshiping Jesus together.
That moment – simple, messy, beautiful – was the best venue for leading worship. Nobody saw it happen, it was far from glamorous, no one was impressed, but it was perfect.
Reminds me of a tweet I read from Kathryn Scott this week:
Such a beautiful reminder of what matters most, right?
The Atmosphere Of Your Home
You would think that a worship leader’s home would be the best atmosphere on the planet. I mean, think about it. Worship 24/7. Beautiful songs always being written and sung. An atmosphere of God’s presence that permeates every room. No time for bickering or fighting because everyone is too busy singing worship songs and lifting holy hands, right?
I wish it were so.
Most of the time when I come home from work (leading worship), I want to retreat. I’ve spent an entire weekend leading – leading my band, leading the congregation, talking to people, being “on”. When I come home the last thing I want to do is lead something.
But my home is where my leadership really counts. And it’s where my full presence is needed the most.
My wife doesn’t care how well I sing…as long as I’m present in the home – loving, listening, leading.
My kids don’t give a rip about what I achieve, how talented I am, or what anyone thinks about me. I can see it in their eyes – I would be their hero if I sang songs with a chromatic scale and strummed a guitar with my elbow.
But so often we choose the crowd over the home. The crowds compliment you. Your worship team follows you. Your Twitter followers retweet you.
Your wife wants you to change the 5th diarrhea diaper of the day. Your kids want more milk and crackers and chocolate and popcorn and bananas and don’t want to take a nap. And they run into your room at 4am.
This can cause someone in public ministry to drift towards the crowds and neglect their home. But that’s where your ministry loses its credibility.
The Problem With the Crowd is Me
There is no relational depth in the crowd. They don’t know you for real. They don’t have history with you for real. Of course, it’s not their fault. It’s mine. It’s my own craving for approval. It’s my insecurity. It’s my searching for meaning in places it was never meant to be found.
Sure, your leadership is needed on stage, but it is twice as important at home. Many of us put loads of time into strategizing with our worship team – how to disciple people, how to recruit, how to develop new leaders, and what activities to do.
Matter of fact, it’s what my book Beyond Sunday is all about.
But most of the time we have zero plans for how we’ll lead our family in worship. Public success that isn’t supported by private leadership at home isn’t success…it’s neglect.
How can I spend time crafting keyboard tones, guitar swells, events, and song lists for corporate worship but not think twice about the worship culture of my home?
My suggestion? What I’m challenged to do? Be immersed in the home. Find joy in being present with the people you love – the people who need you – rather than looking for a pat on the back.
Sure, I would love to lead worship at Wembley arena, Madison Square Garden, or at Hillsong Conference. But those opportunities don’t equal success. When our life is through we can know we’ve made a difference leading worship where it matters most – the best venue on earth.
But I’d love to hear from you on this. How do you balance the call to reach others with the call to lead your family? How do you balance changing the world with reaching your home?
Let’s talk. Because it’s just better that way. You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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What an excellent word! I saw Kathryn’s tweet too. Way to take it a step further personally, while at the same time, challenging us fellow worship leaders to do the same. Thanks for the inspiration!
My pleasure, Shelena. Working on trying to be more “present”. It’s a daily challenge, you know?
Ahh, I needed to read this. I serve on one of our church’s worship teams 2-3 times a month. I’m also the mom of three young kids. There are times when it is very tempting to see worship (and even rehearsal time) as almost an “escape” – a time to be “me,” to let go of the responsibilities of family, and yeah, sometimes to soak in a compliment or two. I sometimes hear a voice whispering and reminding me that that’s not what it’s all about. I need to remember this on those days when I get home on a Sunday and feel kind of let down and the house is a mess and everyone’s whining. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing, Deb. I know exactly how you feel! I want to make sure I don’t minimize the importance of little “escapes” – I think that’s important for your sanity. But it’s less of an escaping for identity issues and more of a much needed mental and spiritual break from the daily grind 🙂 We all need that!
My wife and I have been talking a lot about this (just blogged about it too). Margin is essential! I may be a little picky with words.. but I don’t think “balance” is the right word. I think “intentionality” is. When I think of “balance” I picture someone about ready to fall or tip over… (that’s tweet-able). 😀 Hence: Intentionality. That’s harder said then done.. but we try to be intentional more than just reacting to life as it comes or balancing it.. just me 🙂
Means a lot coming from you, Jason! You are balancing a lot. Can you share your blog post link here?
Sure man! Humbling you ask.
This is a part of a series we are doing called “Paddle the Boat” — Margin is Essential: http://atthespeedoffamily.com/margin-is-essential/