Am I what?
I know, this topic is a bit of a diversion from the usual worship leader fare.
Or is it?
What person on planet earth doesn’t struggle with sexual temptation? Matter of fact, as worship leaders we need to especially guard ourselves in this area.
We’re on a stage. Emotions are high. It’s easy to become emotionally connected to someone who is not your spouse.
After the demands of ministry are over, it’s easy to let our guard down – to look and lust and lie. Nobody’s watching right?
We need to build up a resistance to this compromise. We need to fight – wage war on our laziness. We need to make daily deposits into our sexual purity.
What do I mean by “deposits”?
It’s a pattern in life:
- The more money you save, the easier it becomes to save more money.
- The more you write, the easier it is to write more.
- The more you practice the piano, the easier it becomes to practice even more.
Making a deposit into your sexual purity is about preparing yourself to resist inevitable temptation.
You will be tempted. Today. Later today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Even the next day.
But…
All time spent with Jesus is a deposit into your sexual purity…
All focused time spent with your spouse, undistracted, is a deposit…
Setting up boundaries is making a deposit.
If you’re not intentional about it, you won’t survive. And not only will your ministry suffer, so will every other facet of your life.
It’s about building up a resistance to temptation.
The more you say ‘no’ the easier it is to say ‘no’.
The more time you spend in the presence of God, the easier it is to resist picking up that magazine, visiting that website, or flirting with that guy who’s not your husband…tomorrow.
Where True Leadership Is Tested
This is where true leadership is tested – where greatness happens.
It doesn’t matter how well you can lead your team if you can’t lead your own heart.
It doesn’t matter how much talent you display on a shiny stage in front of thousands of people.
It really doesn’t matter what you do if you don’t invest in your sexual purity.
Great lives are broken down because of it. Powerful ministries are lost under its weight.
Don’t squander what God has given you by neglecting this.
Rise up and make a few deposits today.
Question: What are some other ways we can guard our sexual purity? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
kudos to you for this.
we need to talk about this more. I think there is this huge dynamic that gets underestimated. Your setting at church is supposed to be a comfortable safe place, so your guard gets let down and stuff like this creeps in.
Sexual impurity is so powerful and it is scary.
“It doesn’t matter how well you can lead your team if you can’t lead your own heart.”
There is really nothing left to say after that david…
Wow…
Thanks!
Thoroughly agree. Wow. Thanks David. 🙂
Arny stole my comment. That quote is beyond epic. And you’re right, Arny – there is really nothing left to say after that.
Great post, David.
Beyond epic? Wow, what would that be called?
Thanks for sharing this! This is something we all have to be reminded of constantly!
The biggest thing in my stage of life is dating. I choose not to date because it would just distract me from God and my future career. I have chosen to wait until God brings the right person…I’m guessing well into college or a little after! Also, setting your standards high is important. When I do decide to date, I have chosen not to kiss. It just leads things to far…I want my first kiss to be with the woman God has for me to spend the rest of my life with.
So setting the standards high is key! Great post!
Great ideas, Brandon. I would agree that waiting is important for young people. Focus on God and focus on what you want to do with your life. At the right time you’ll be ready for a great girl to come alongside you.
Excellent post, this is a subject that needs to be talked about more, I love how you mentioned flirting with the opposite sex. Little deposits in the wrong bank can eventually turn into deep pockets of desire for the wrong things. Thanks
Well said, Raul. Flirting is way too easy. We need to be so careful.
Excellent post!
Along the lines of dedicated time with your spouse is to focus on shared interests with your spouse, especially if music/art is not one of them.
For those of us who are so keyed into music and art, if that is not a passion for our spouse (or not as big a passion), it can lead to false feelings of disconnect with them and lead to false feelings of connection with someone we interact with in the midst of our ministry.
Christopher, I feel like reposting your comment. This is so important. How have you applied this practically?
I have applied it a couple of ways in my own life…
– sitting down and making a list of all the adventures that my wife and I have had together through the years, which helps me to recognize that music is not everything and that our history/connection is deep…
– remembering that for music to breathe, there must be a listener. And my wife has graciously listened to everything I have played for her (i.e. there is more than one way to connect over a passion for music/art)
– and realizing that, occasionally, we must cut back or cut off interaction with people if these lines begin to blur.
Christopher, thanks for posting this. While my wife and I both love music/art, we don’t always agree on to spend our time together. There’s things we each enjoy that the other simply doesn’t, and what you’ve posted above is so practical and easy.
Thanks, brother.
So, just curious, but are you some sort of a mega Genius? Because you seem to hit the mark with every post. This is brilliant and is tearing me pretty hard. Thanks for being willing to share everything.
I’m no genius, but thank you so much. I just evaluate my life – mistakes and all – with a passion for learning. I want to be all that God has called me to. I need grace.
Great post! Since musicians are usually emotionally in-touch creatures, we are often led by our emotions. And our emotions can steer us wrong (loneliness, discontent, envy, doubt, anxiety).
Sexual impurity is such a trap. There are some great books written on the topic that are geared for every man and woman (in addition to the Bible, of course).
One of the boundaries we use is never practicing alone with someone of the opposite sex. Keeping the doors and office windows open is strongly encouraged and required.
Praying for my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Great boundaries. We do the same.
David – Good post. Our sexuality is a part of who we are. It is a good gift from God, not something to be shameful of or see in a negative light. God wants us to glorify Him by keeping ourselves pure, pouring our sexual energies toward our spouse, and turning to Him for our ultimate fulfilment.
These are newer lessons to me. I was derailed in ministry because of my sexual sin. I have been in recovery for the last 4 years. They have been the best years of my life and marriage. Very hard, but very good. We are discovering healthy sexuality for the first time, and the benefits that sexual purity bring to a marriage.
Our site http://www.porntopurity.com has a lot of resources on it that might be a help to your readers who are trapped in sexual sin.
I’m glad you’re writing on this topic. Keep em coming!
Jeff Fisher – Raleigh, NC
Wow, what a great site! Thanks for connecting. It’s awesome to see how God is using you to minister out of what you struggled with. Thanks Jeff!
Every Man’s Battle also has a website with numerous resources and avenues for support. An accountabilty partner has been a necessity for me to grow into maturity and consistency in this area. I think sexual sin, which is so rampant in our society, needs to be addressed a lot more than it currently is to be rooted out of our lives and out of the Church.
I agree that accountability is a very powerful tool. Bringing things out of the darkness and into the light is the whole reason Jesus said “I am the light of the world.” Thanks for being bold, Darin!