Have you ever thought about the feminine, romantic nature of our worship songs? How do non-Christians (and men in general) feel when we sing songs of such intimacy?
- “God, You are beautiful”
- “I’m so in love with You”
- “I pour my love on You”
- “Heaven meets earth like a…”
- “Your fragrance is intoxicating”
Matt Redman has some great insights in this brief interview.
If you can’t see the video in your email or RSS reader, click here.
There are different sides to this. Some could argue the fact that we are the “bride” of Christ and the language of intimacy is the language of worship. We shouldn’t shy away from that to become more “seeker sensitive”. The things of the Spirit are foolishness to the natural man anyway, right?
The other side is like what Matt describes. We need to be aware of our culture surroundings and identify what lyric styles might be a barrier to people. We also don’t just want to treat God as our cosmic teddy bear that we hug and sing sweetly too. Our God is a consuming fire and we need to stand in awe.
So the floor is yours. Are our songs too romantic? Should we sing about more objective truth than we do subjective feelings? Or do we need to worship God in this intimate way? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
For some comic relief, read this brilliant post from Bryan Allain on the Stuff Christians Like blog. Sort of applies. Not really. But it’s awesome.
There definitely needs to be a balance, but sometimes songs are a little too “feminine”.
Rebecca and I have debated this before. Redman’s song with the line “I’m so in love with you” is my prime example of a song that feels weird and distracting. In my head I cannot separate the phrase “in love with” from romance, so that song always sounds ludicrous to me. Many of these songs sound like songs to boyfriends to me, but I know that’s not true for everyone.
I’m not sure what the answers to your questions are. Most of the songs in the Bible seem to lean towards awe rather than intimacy, but maybe that’s because most of them were written before Pentecost.
Darren, that’s really insightful. It does make some sense that after Christ’s death and resurrection were given access into God’s presence through His blood. That changes how we worship for sure. Thanks for the comment.
I have waited so long for worship songs of love to my lord. For some time now I have sung regular love songs from secular world to my God and right from my heart for I truly loved Him. I longed for more worship songs of love to come hither. I have trusted the Lord to be my husband along with any other need I had at any time in my life. We can go as deep with God as our hearts will let us. I have asked of the Lord to sing a love song back to me and he did. I always loved that song called unchained melody and I had sang it to the Lord a couple times before I asked him to sing one to me. I was totally floored when the next day I walked into church and the worship band broke into a medley of unchained melody. I broke down in weeping that the Lord actually heard my prayer and was letting me know in the most perfect way possible. There was no doubt in my mind he did that just for my heart!!!
This a great blog topic along with fantastic points. I love (no romance intended) how candidly Matt Redman discusses his own internal debates.
The pastor is ultimately responsible for ensuring that the church is not “over-mothered,” but the music leader can certainly play a huge role in directing people to be reverent before God in the midst of their emotional response to the work of His Spirit.
Well said, Preston. Thanks for the comment!
This is something I haven’t until recent started thinking about. I think we need to be culturally relevant to our congregation. If we are a church whose focus is reaching the Men of the house, we should be extremely intentional when choosing music that may leave them feeling out of place or detached. On the other hand, I believe there is power in submitting to Christ as the ultimate head of the house and expressing our love and adoration. Much like Redman I’m still hashing this out but those are my 2 cents.
I hear ya, Nathan. I agree our congregations need to understand what they are singing.
I think part of the answer might lie in the interviewer’s question: he used the phrase “It doesn’t do anything for me…” Could it be that we write and choose worship songs more often based on what we want to get from them than what we want to ascribe to the Lord? Honestly, I feel a whole lot more comfortable with myself when I sing about the loving nature of God than I do when I sing about His holiness. Because when I sing about pouring out love, I remember that I am loved. But, like Isaiah, when the holiness of God is revealed, so is my wretchedness and I once again am reminded of my frailty. That is uncomfortable.
In this age of wanting to “please” our congregations, perhaps we swing too far toward songs that are a little more tangible (similar to earthly relationships) and make the environment more comfortable (more love, less repentance). I have been steering away from the “Jesus is my boyfriend” songs for the last year or two, and writing and choosing songs that remain rooted in Scripture and describe a breadth of God’s attributes.
That said, we cannot swing away from the love of God – He IS love. And if we swing the pendulum the other way, we create a cold and distant God.
I loved Redman’s candor in this interview, and desire to be as teachable.
Love this! So it’s possible to balance both worlds?
I’d say so…a healthy dose of God’s majesty, holiness and justice balanced with His compassion, mercy and tenderness. Quite possible if we are intentional about it.
Well said, Elizabeth. You have a nice way with words 🙂
Well said, Elizabeth. This is a great challenge and I hope this balance positively influences us in our songwriting. Thanks.
Yes, there are songs that are too romantic for the context of typical Sunday morning church worship. One song that my young adult leaders wanted to do – and I said no – was “Always Forever” by Phil Wickham. A perfectly fine song for other contexts – like a young adult retreat, but no way your grandmothers are going to relate to singing that in church. As a principle I think we need to lead with songs that are appropriate for our context and not create unnecessary barriers for the average person to worship.
It was also cool to hear Matt be so honest about re-thinking that line in “Let My Words Be Few” because, I felt the same way – it was a great song but that last line killed it for me.
David – this was a great topic to post about, thanks man!
I think your statement about contexts is huge. A certain song may be fine in one context but make no sense in another. I remember back in the day songs like “Sweet Wind” or “Let the River Flow” had tremendous significance in a lot of charismatic communities, mine included. But in some contexts singing about wind, fire, and rain might give off the idea that we worship nature. Sounds crazy, but it’s true.
That’s funny:)
I do believe however, that we should give people language (in song) that helps them express adoration and intimacy. Blokey blokes are still the “bride of Christ” and the Song of Solomon is biblical text.
So we should sing “Dance with Me” and stuff like that …
“Dance With Me” may be the ultimate “romantic” worship song. Songs like that are easier for women to sing, but I agree, men need to express intimacy with Christ as well. The question is how do we teach them?
I laughed at the grandmother part, but I agree that context is huge. This is definitely something I need to take into consideration as I prepare for each service.
I listened to a round table on this topic awhile back. One person made a really good point, and I’ve kind of settled there. I would LOVE to sing the songs that describe and worship the powerful, warrior side of God. Some of them are out there…but we need the men songwriters today to write them!
I feel challenged, Charity. Time for me to get to work 🙂
Just discovered your blog today, like it. I’ve been posed this question many times, and i do agree we can be a little feminine in our worship. But we also need that, As men we need to learn to be intimate with God, I mean what do most men now think of John laying his head on Jesus’s bosom? I remember being at a Poisen concert in highschool, and guys all over that place swaying singing “every rose has it’s thorn”, of course they were probably trying to show their affection to some girl…hmmm, we have anyone we’re trying to so affection to in church. I believe we can’t strip this from our worship, it’s a needed part of our worship, but we do need some time of dude worship where there’s a little fist pumping going on too 🙂
Tharon, thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll come back. We have a great community of worship leaders here.
I agree. Men need to discover that they are the bride of Christ. But at the same time, we can’t lose the awe and wonder of His holiness. Know what I mean?
Hey guys and girls,
Some great comments here…. My first thoughts at the top of the page were this: There is a difference between “loving” God and “being in love with God” or anyone for that matter. And this is where I believe the “intimacy” part becomes uncomfortable…maybe especially for men.
The question then becomes, is Jesus “in love” with His bride or does He just love His bride? And if He is “in love”, then, well, sorry men, He died for you too and you are included in the Bride; thus the relationship with Him deserves equal input from all parties.
What are we practicing in our daily, personal worship? if men and women alike are growing daily in our relationship and in worship to our Saviour, and our love is warranted by His amazing love, kindness, mercy, grace and sacrifice, then should anything we do in church really feel awkward?
As a worship leader, I personally lean on the side that in our worship, we perhaps have traded in reverence for relationship, and while “sloppy wet kisses” may be a bit extreme, we are more comfortable in singing about love and being loved than we are in singing of holiness, righteousness, worthiness and being in awe of an awesome God, because singing of those things, calls us into accountability, while singing about love tends to lean on making us feel good and validated.
I have had guys in my church come to me with the argument that we sing too many “girl” songs. And on this point, I must agree with Charity…come on men, write the songs 🙂 But ultimately, we are not writing songs to validate our own emotions, we are writing to sing to Him and to ascribe unto Him who He is! But then again, the difference between WORSHIP and SONG MINISTRY deserves it’s own blog topic 🙂
As always…we return to BALANCE as a key in our answers to these challenging questions!
God Bless!
I have wondered how men feel about this topic. Sometimes, even as a woman, I think some of the songs are a bit much. I remember seeing a SIMPSONS episode where a woman contemporary Christian singer decides to stop singing Christian music. The character says something along the line of, “I’ll just take the word “Jesus” out of my songs and they can be played on easy listening stations.
Wow, Toni. That’s a sobering example. It’s interesting that even unbelievers notice that. Thanks for sharing!
17 For this is what the Lord says: ‘David will never fail to have a man to sit on the throne of Israel, 18 nor will the Levitical priests ever fail to have a man to stand before me continually to offer burnt offerings, to burn grain offerings and to present sacrifices.’”
This is taken from Jeremia 33.
If God does not lie we have a problem. If the Lords says “never fail” . It means never. In this present time there is no king on the throne and now levitical offering or priest in the temple.
There is even no temple.
Now we have church building and modern music.
Lights effects, smoke machine, big screen ext.
Great music and sounds effects.
Today music is trying to capture the church to get them in some kind of mood
to work on their emotion.
Every church – preacher talks something different. ( I know God is everywere )
How can the way we sing or play music atracts God presence.
Because every church is different.
I don’t believe the words or music can be the differents if Gods presence is there.
Because then God will need to choose the one He likes more and attend the church meeting.
Not even the stage and concert music and lights effects. Not even if it is romantic or not.
If Christ is correct we are safed by grace and should try to live a respetful live in Gods eyes.
If someone sings in tune or out of tune to God that’s also no difference.
I believe God is in every human being, if not that person would not exist.
Before we sing or think about writing a song He knows our thoughts.
Songs can be uplifting and bring men to Christ. That’s something Good.
If you love your children or family or wife or husband yoe don’t have to be paid to show them how you love them. In the sameway if You love God you don’t have to be paid or do extra (shows) to show God that you love him. That’s why we should not sell Christian Music. When it becomes businness and not personal things go wrong.
Freely recived then also freely given.
When your children come to you and hug you and tell you that they love you. You will fell good and tell them the same. You will not take them out and buy something they want, Or give them money. God after you worship him I believe you will feekl his love for you. We shoud worship just because we love God. I don’t know wich way is best. Because Jesus did not teach how to sing or play music. He said love your God with all your ……
Yeah..Most of contemporary Christian music is completely vanilla, overly sentimentalized, feminized, bland schmaltz with zero soul. It’s difficult to separate a lot of CCW from the insipid pop that clogs the radio waves. As a Christian and a musician I find it offensive and unlistenable. Most of it makes me want to vomit…
You can have it.
Worship in itself is so intimate and people have different ways of expressing intimacy. I think what’s important is having a central theme, so if I’m talking about “I pour my love on You” then the theme of my worship should be around a deep appreciation for God. In John 12:3, Mary expressed worship in a way people may think is too romantic by pouring perfume on Jesus’ feet. In Luke 10:38 – 42, see what Jesus says to Martha. It’s so important to be yourself before God because He knows who He created you to be. Different worshipers will have different styles of expression, and that’s fine and the worshiper has to be okay with the fact that true worship does not necessarily mean everyone will understand or connect. They that worship must worship in Spirit and in Truth. Narrow is the way, Choose The Way and worship as The Way leads. Do not seek to please people over pleasing God and God will take care of you.