If you are a leader, I’m sure you’re well acquainted the “p” word.
If you’re a worship leader, you’ve probably sung “Blessed Be Your Name”, “Healer”, and “You Never Let Go” a few times.
But it goes deeper. The more you’re involved in ministry, the more you realize a sobering fact.
People are hurting.
People are confused.
People are experiencing tremendous pain.
And they are looking to YOU for help.
I shared my story briefly in this post. I remember when I was suffering through a trial, my emotions couldn’t be trusted. They were all over the place.
It’s easy to ignore people who are suffering because you don’t know what to say. It’s also easy to say the wrong thing. But as leaders, it’s our responsibility to lead those who suffer.
We simply can’t shake their hand and get back to our happy lives.
3 Tips For Leading People Through Pain
So whether you’ve led someone through pain or you’re about to, it’s important that you know what to do.
1. Lead them to Christ, not just yourself
What people really need in the midst of their pain is to learn deeper fellowship with Christ. To know the fellowship of His sufferings. To experience His peace. To feel the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Make sure you lead in that direction.
Friends, that’s more than a simple “I’m praying for you” or a Scripture verse you quote. We don’t want to speak of Jesus and disappear from people’s lives.
When I was suffering, a great friend of mine visited me in my home and led worship for me. Yea, he was busy. But he took the time to lead me to Jesus. I can’t describe how refreshing that was.
Don’t lead people to be dependent on you. You will let them down. Don’t lead people to love you more than they love Christ.
Get beside them and lead them to the God who can never fail.
2. Listen and Be
When I was suffering, I found it most refreshing when someone would just sit with me – be with me – listen to me.
Even though I didn’t have much to say, it was refreshing that I didn’t have to answer a million questions and put on my spiritual super star suit. I could be myself and share life with a friend. No pretending and no performing.
Be that to people. If they want to vent, let them vent without responding like an encyclopedia. Listen, empathize, and comfort.
3. Speak hope over them
It’s common when you’re suffering to feel hopeless – that God has forgotten you. We all know that’s not true, but it’s easy to believe when the pain is strong. As a leader, speak hope.
Breathe encouragement.
Prophesy peace.
Believe in them with all your heart.
I feel my experience with physical suffering has made me a better worship leader. Because life involves pain. God gives and God takes away.
But a cry must arise from that place of desperation that God is still worthy. God is always good. God is who He says he is.
Lead people to this place. A place where they don’t give up on God when the water’s rise. A place where they find a peace they’ve never known, a strength beyond their own, a love that never ends.
Question: Have you experienced a trial? What else would you add to this list about leading others through pain? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
I found this post to be particularly moving. I find that many churches are telling congregations that it’s okay to not be okay. That’s why Jesus came.
“Don’t lead people to be dependent on you. You will let them down.” <— = Truth.
For whatever reason, this post reminded me of a post I read yesterday by Ally Spotts. I've recently started reading some of her stuff and it's good as well. I'd recommend it. Yesterday was about relationships and about how sometimes, things are just really really hard. Kind of like loving someone through their pain.
http://www.allyspotts.com/the-stuff-of-good-relationships-confrontation-commitment
Good stuff, Jason. What do you mean by churches telling people “it’s OK to not be OK”? Not sure If I get what you mean.
I just mean that sometimes people feel like they have to have their act together in order to go to church. I think some churches are trying to break down an invisible barrier the hinders so many from walking in the doors in the first place. I just think many pastors are being a bit more vocal in saying, no one here is perfect but we came to worship the One who is. Does that help? I could maybe make a blog of it haha!
In a sense, this verse.
Mark 2:17
17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”
People will nod and agree with #2 but few people really know how to do it well. When I was going through my “dark night of the soul” I didn’t need advice. I didn’t need someone telling me what I should be doing. I needed someone to listen and validate me.
It wasn’t until I was heard and validated that I could even receive the hope that people tried to speak over me.
Very true. I think many of us don’t know what to say so we resort to saying nothing or preaching at people. It’s better just to love and listen.
My wife has chronic health issues and one of the many things she has taught me is that people don’t want to be defined by their struggle, their tragedy, their illness, etc.
So, going hand in hand with #2 is coming along side someone and treating them like a person, not a struggling person or a person with a problem/tragedy/illness… just a person.
Amen! I remember getting really tired of people asking me how my health was. I know that sounds bad, but I didn’t want to be defined by my illness. Good thoughts.
When my father passed away, it was nice for people to say, “I’m sorry you’re hurting”, that gave me more comfort than millions of other words.
Thank you. Been on both sides of this one, and in between. You share truth of what to do as a leader.
Great thoughts, David. It’s also good to be sure that when offering hope and pointing people to Christ that we don’t use cliche phrases and (dare I say?) verses. I’ve know of more than one person in pain who had someone say to them “Don’t forget, God works all things together for good for those who love Him” in a cheery voice. While true, that often isn’t encouraging to the person in pain at that moment.
I’ve also learned in my own seasons of suffering just how ineffective the pastoral phrases we default to really aren’t that helpful.
So true, Chris. There’s something about just being with someone that is so powerful.