The old and the young. Can’t we all just get along?
One of the most common frustrations of leading a local church worship team is connecting the generations – to actually work together.
Oftentimes they look like lepers trying to avoid each other than a team working together.
Why is this?
It’s true, the young tend to lack respect for the old. They can easily form “clicks” with their own age and think they’re better than they are.
Still, the old can easily get “set in their ways” and aren’t open to change. They have a hard time adapting to “younger” styles and feel awkward around the young, like they have nothing to say.
I’m convinced that blending the generations is the best way to go. It’s not about everyone getting their way. It’s about us being the church – working together, serving together, loving Jesus together.
But in order to do it well, it takes effort on both sides.
And at the end of this post, I’d like to hear what has worked for you.
The Young Musician
1. Don’t be a know it all – soak up all you can from seasoned musicians who are different than you. Be a learner. Destroy your miniature box of what you think is musical “cool”. Learn about any and all styles from anyone.
2. Ask questions – I know talking to the 50 year old rocker is awkward, so start with some questions. Ask them about their history as a musician. Let them rant about their glory days. They’ll appreciate the conversation…or monologue 🙂
3. Don’t gossip – I know you have the most cutting edge musical ideas and the bass player soloing with their chorus pedal drives you crazy. Rather than talking behind everyone’s back about how much you hate it, keep it to yourself and seek to build up the team with your words.
The Older Musician
1. Be teachable – learn a new perspective on creativity from the younger. I know it’s a pride killer when you have to play music with kids half the age you’ve been playing guitar. But there’s much to learn!
2. Initiate conversation – Oftentimes the young are intimidated or don’t know what to say to you. Reach out to them. bless, encourage, and pray for them.
3. Mentor and invest in the next generation. Rather than feel threatened that you may be replaced, mentor someone who is half your age. Face it – they are the next generation and someone needs to carry the torch.
Worship leader, I’d love to hear how this works on your team.
How do you engage both the old and the young? Let us know in the comments!
Great Post, David. I agree. A blending of the ages must happen. I find myself in that position as a 40 year old music director in my home church. We have went through our own time of struggles and I find myself facing a bit older of a church (congregation age) than when I first started leading the music. The age gap is fairly large as the main core musicians are my age with the exception of our bass/organ player who is only 16. Quite a gap to say the least. My goal this year is to mentor/disciple both the young and old. I have started that with our vocalists which was a bit easier, but I am now working with the band.
It will be a great year, but I totally agree with you…both age groups definitely need to learn how to share and learn from each other. That’s the only way it truly will work.
I agree, Joe. I’m on the other end of the spectrum where most of my musicians are teenagers. Do you have anything specific you’re doing to mentor the “generations”?
Hey David,
It really depends on the circumstance and whether or not it is a musician or singer.
The biggest thing is that I look for teaching moments. Those times when I can take a musician or singer aside and say here is what I feel happening in this situation or this is how you might approach this song. It’s a bit easier with the musicians as I can do this during practice and there is only a few of us. I typically will wait until the end of practice or the song that we are working on to speak with the singer.
The other thing that I do is that I work with the youth musicians and singers on specific Saturdays during the year. We are having a clinic this weekend with the youth band and singers. I will take some time to go over worship points, new songs, etc.
The older group is a bit tougher, but what I try to do is lean in on their experience and what I see we could do better as a whole. I like to pair up an older musician with a younger musician. Our Pastor is our main bass player, so I have partnered him up with the young man I spoke about above. I partner our main drummer up with our newest drummer. Those type of connections.
That is what I do, but believe me, I am always looking for new ways to mentor. That is a big goal for me this year. To really mentor and partner people up in our music department.
Dude, I love your heart! Last week we talked about how to have difficult conversations with worship team members and I’ve found that’s one of the best ways to disciple. People need to know how they can improve in order to grow. You seem to be doing a great job!
I don’t have much experience in this arena but I agree with all this. These are great things to communicate to your team. But do you have a way of communicating them? I feel like these kind of answers can only be given on a one-on-one, case-by-case scenario.
Pretty cliche but I think there’s something to be said about having your team meet together outside of rehearsal and services. I’d like to have a consistent time, maybe once a month, where we get together(young and old) for dinner, hang out, and also to be able to share the word. Which is another good point… Intentionally and consistently pointing them to Christ instead of themselves, and myself for that matter, is really what’s needed. I need to remind myself of the gospel everyday or else I’m the most self-centered of them all! Do you have anything like this in place?
Thanks for this!
Josiah, welcome to the comments! You make a great point. We’ve built into our schedule a quarterly gathering called “Refresh Night” where we step away from rehearsal and worship/hang out together. It’s definitely been good for us. Do you have something like that?
Hi Josiah,
I like the idea of getting together outside of practice and rehearsals. This a great point. As a whole, my team did this more in the past. I am going to make this more of a focal point this year.
I also agree with the one-on-one scenario. I try to, at the very least, take the person aside and speak with them so as not to blast something out to everyone.
In my experience, there are a couple of places that both old and young musicians can come together:
1. Jamming – Providing time to jam can break down walls, as well as open up doors… and it’s fun!
2. Talking about gear – a Worship Team field trip to the local music shop?
These are both great ways I have found to get the musicians to feel like a band of brothers/sisters rather than competing bands of young vs. old. And once the doors are open, there is no limit to how close or deep these relationships can become.
Chris, these are fantastic ideas. A trip to the music store is brilliant. I may just have to organize that. If I offered a shopping spree to everyone it would make the experience that much more successful 🙂
Hey David I just want to say THANK YOU for this article and sharing this vision.
I believe the mission of the church is to be multi-generational, God used Abraham, Issac, Jacob and Joseph. That’s 4 generations.
If both groups are humble and teachable, leaders will discover creative ways to join the generations. The rest of my thoughts would take up a whole post, so I’ll leave it at that, and … THANK YOU!
I agree, humility and teachability are key. How is that developed?
Leaders like you and me have to make “humility and teachability” a cultural value. We have to model it, speak it, teach it, pray it.
Amen
Great stuff! As a teenager, I cretainly have a different style than the 50+ adults that play in the worship band at my church. I lead the youth worship band, so I only get to play in my actual church every so often. I love doing it though because I can play my electric guitar a little bit differently.
It is cool. I enjoy talking to the older musicians…I have learned a lot from them!
Brandon, you’re awesome!
As a 46 y/o I have found that the times before practice, during breaks, and after are an excellent time to fellowship and communicate with other band members; for example meeting and having a wonderful conversation with the 16y/o drummer who is home schooled and who I would have limited contact with otherwise is truly an honor; simply packing the guitar in the case and briskly leaving after the last note is played is not the best solution.
Love your attitude, Shawn. Seeing it as an “honor” is a very mature view.
Hey David, I ran into Kent Henry last weekend and interviewed him about your question.
Check out his response about merging the generations in this video, http://www.robstill.com/kent-henry-interview-raising-up-next-generation-worshipers/
One way we do it is listen to each other’s favorite music (secular and not secular) We try to play each others music. And it is fun for some who are adventurous to try and convert songs into different genres and teach each other tricks on how to play & create different styles or riffs or harmonies.
Sharing favorites from childhood works, and works best with young children and older adults. For the middle ages, one party often is listening politely while the other is really enjoying the music.
Has anyone else found sharing and exploring various kinds of music a natural way that people of varied cultures come together, especially in christian circles?
Great post. I am experiencing some of hese issues as well..