Many status updates have been written. Article after article. But it’s hard to put into words the kind of tragedy we are experiencing in our culture.
If you’ve ever experienced tragedy, you know how difficult it can be to count it all joy. To sing. To have faith.
Maybe you received a terrifying diagnosis. Or you lost your job. Or the offering plate passes by as you wonder how you’ll pay your bills. Maybe you and your spouse are disconnected and feel like it’s over. Maybe a family member has died. Maybe Orlando, Houston, or France.
Whatever the case, as worship leaders we need to be sensitive to grief and lament and make it a regular part of our worship gatherings.
Many have a hard time with this. They feel worship should primarily be a place where we celebrate and declare and proclaim. I mean, I can understand. We receive enough bad news during the week. We don’t need to weep, moan, and wail on Sundays.
But I’d go so far to say that Sunday morning is the best place for our grief. The presence of God in corporate worship is the best outlet for our anger, confusion, and sadness.
Consider the Psalms – the great hymnbook of every generation. Here’s a portion of Psalm 88:
From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.
All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.”
That isn’t how the Psalm begins but how it ends. No happy ending. No triumphant close. It’s just pure lament and sadness.
Why would be Bible include this? It’s actually fairly common within the Psalms to cry out for justice, to weep over transgression, to be overwhelmed by darkness.
I think it’s because King David knew pain. And Christ knows our pain because He lived it. I believe God wants us to know the place suffering has in our fallen world and to show that He is more than able to heal, comfort, bring peace, and restore what is broken.
He’s not just the God who heals but He’s the God who is present in our pain. He knows it because He tasted it for us.
The Presence of Pain & the Presence of God
As worshipers, we’re not called to deny our pain for a happy-clappy faith. We’re called to offer that pain to the only One who can do anything about it.
And this a high calling for worship leaders. Every Sunday people are experiencing grief. We have no idea the depths of suffering they are experiencing. And especially in more recent times, hurt is everywhere.
Think of the alternative for our people:
- If not the church, where?
- If not our songs, what songs?
- If not our gatherings, what gatherings?
When we bring our grief into God’s presence we gain perspective. It’s a perspective that rises above the storm. It’s a perspective that sees the Son of Man standing alongside you in the fire.
Circumstances may not change. There may not be a swift answer to prayer. There may not be an instant healing. But you’ll develop a closeness with the Savior that is the sweetest experience on earth.
[bctt tweet=”When we bring our grief into God’s presence we gain perspective.” username=”dsantistevan”]
How to Lead Grieving Worship
What does this mean for you as a worship leader? I can see it affecting a few areas of your ministry:
1. How You Lead – Good worship leading has a lot to do with empathy. Being real with people and knowing where they are. When you have empathy for the people you lead, they trust you and follow you. So lead in such a way that people know you’re real. That you’re a worshiper.
2. Your Song Choice – A well balanced diet is never just one food group. We receive nutrients from many different sources. The same goes for our song diet. Songs of victory, yes. Anthems of celebration, for sure. But also include songs that speak to suffering and Christ’s closeness.
3. How You Live – Don’t expect people to worship in the midst of their pain if you refuse to. Part of what makes you a great leader is worshiping when it hurts. Your own doubt, suffering, and grief make you a believable worship leader…if you’re living it off the stage.
I’d love to hear from you.
How do you address issues of grief and suffering in your church? Let’s chat. You can leave a comment by clicking here.
[ois skin=”Beyond Sunday 2″]
Great article David. I agree with much of it. However, I have heard a compelling case made for excluding lament in our corporate worship gatherings. It goes something like this:
“I know that suffering is a reality and that mourning and lament is necessary, but when the church comes together on Sunday morning, our primary focus should actually be on the victory and hope of the resurrection and the coming Kingdom of God. We all experience so much heartache and so many difficult situations during the week, It’s like we get bombarded, and the tendancy is to forget the Gospel and the now/not yet hope of the Kingdom. The church service should be a respite from all of that. Teach people how to mourn and lament, but teach them how to do it within the scope of their close relationships, in more intimate settings. David wrote his Psalms of lament before Jesus got up from the grave, so to use them as an example of legitimate corporate worship expression is kind of anachronistic, and may actually be wrong, do we really know if these Psalms were ever expressed publicly in gathered worship services? Will trials come? Yes. Is there a time to weep? Yes. But I’m not sure that time is on Sunday morning in the gathering of the redeemed.”
I’d love to know if you’ve encountered this response, and what you might say in response to it.
Thanks.
A much needed article. In my lifetime I have carried the grief of the loss of an infant son, a divorce, and seeing a son put in prison. A lighthearted attitude or goofing around trying to be cool are killers to your soul and the presence of God. I have walked out of church during insensitive times to find more solace even among the unsaved who are just sincerely being themselves(like maybe just in a grocery store)than in a worship service where the focus is on the platform and not Christ Jesus. Happy, upbeat, lighthearted songs during grief are a mockery to your soul. Yet, if the presence of God is there, the choice of music is of less importance. A true worship song, focused on the Lord Himself, is always a balm to the soul.