I used to think I was a pretty good worship leader.
Until I found out that certain people didn’t like my music. I was a rockstar to some, but an ear plug toleration to others.
I love leading worship in a multi generational church, but it’s also an incredible challenge.
Preferences are thick. Everyone has an opinion about how worship should sound, what songs are most anointed, and how loud a pa system should be run.
Many have referred to this as the “Worship Wars”, which never seem to come to an end.
What I’d like to do today is speak to those who want to connect the generations.
While it’s important and necessary to reach the next generation, we also need to pastor the elderly, and those who can’t handle the fast paced, often impossible to sing, modern worship music.
5 Ways To Connect the Generations in Worship
Is it possible to connect the multiple generations in worship?
While the answer lies primarily in the heart of each worshiper, I believe there are a number of steps you can take to ensure your church body worships in unity.
1. Expose Your Heart – Worship Leader, even if an elderly person doesn’t like your music, they will connect with a worshiper. They can see right through a fake, passionless heart that only longs to be on stage.
The heart of worship is what builds trust between the generations. Expose your heart and people will trust you to lead them.
2. Balance Your Setlists – I’ve found that when I balance loud, driving music with softer, more reflective moments, it’s possible to engage the generations. Don’t allow your worship set to drive the entire time. Balance the old with the new – the deep theology with the simple.
3. Cast Vision – My pastor does a great job of communicating the vision of why we lead worship and make music/media the way we do. Just the other day I was called over by a group of elderly women sitting in our concourse. I began to break out in a cold sweat.
“Oh, no. Here we go with the “It’s too loud we need to sing more hymns” speech. I was pleasantly surprised. One of the ladies said, “I just love so much all the young people that are on that stage. It’s wonderful to see the next generation using their talents for Jesus.”
What refreshing comment! If you cast vision for where you’re going, people will buy in, even if they disagree with the form.
4. Challenge the Young – Oftentimes the young people don’t worship as hard as they do in youth group. They feel weird surrounded by so many adults.
Challenge them from all sides. Have your youth pastor challenge them to sit together and lead the way in worship on Sunday morning. Challenge them from the stage. Have high expectations for your youth and they will rise to the challenge.
5. Listen to People – It’s easy to forget that ministry is about people. It’s not about ideas and events, performance and hustle. At its core, we are leading people, pastoring people, discipling people.
Make sure you are listening to what people are saying. Even if they disagree with what you do, thank them for speaking up. Don’t allow criticism and praise to define you, but allow it to grow you.
This is one of the greatest challenges of leading worship, but it’s such a high calling. You are called to stand before God’s people and herald his praises. You are calling forth the generations to rise up and sing the praises of God.
Worship leader, don’t lose heart. We need you.
Question: Do you lead worship for a multi generational church? What are your challenges and how are you overcoming them? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
Amen. Thanks, David! I speak to so many young worship leaders (I’m 39) who tend to view the older generation as a hindrance to true worship in their churches, and I grieve for that. While I have butted heads with some of the older members of our congregation, many more have appreciated the heart the leadership has shown in drawing them in and meeting them half-way stylistically. I’m so grateful to have folks over 60 sitting next to teenagers in our services. We all have so much to learn from each other.
I agree, Neil. That’s a great vision. Keep mentoring the young leaders!
Well done David! Excellent advice on one of my favorite subjects.
I think having a vision (#3) that embraces all the generations is good. He is the God of Abraham,Isaac, Jacob and Joseph. Kudos to your pastor for consistently explaining the vision.
#5 “listen to people” is so important. Of course, it is impossible to please everybody, nor are we in the “people pleasing” business, BUT you really build good will when you TRY to listen well and feed your sheep what they like.
#2 “Balance” is an effective strategy. Mixing it up is good for everybody. Another idea is to take a crunchy driving song and tone it down with less aggressive guitar and drum sounds. Just make it less intense.
#4 “Youth”> I would try to rotate some of them in as part of the team.
“Listening to people” and “People pleasing” can become blurred sometimes. No God sized vision can last if you’re in the people pleasing business. You’ve got to cast the vision and pastor people through. Well said, Rob.
David, another great topic. Old, middle aged, and young alike should realize that age is just a point of perspective. The youngest to the oldest all have something in common. They are both ALIVE, and that is a blessing from God! And, they are both still called to serve.
Young people eager to serve often think they are ready to lead when they are not. Would we rather they be eager or apathetic. Older people are often reluctant to let go. We live in a youth oriented culture. If you are 50 to 65 or so you are called a Baby Boomer. Remember who started the Generation Gap. WE DID! (I am in that age group). One truth in life is, you are sharpened by adversity. Adversity gives you strength, courage, and experience,(even in music and worship). Usually that is not what most young people have.
They bring something different to the mix, like enthusiasm, spontaneity, energy, imagination. Those are things I need. It takes all of those things from different generations to be successful. Nowadays, worship involves a lot of technology and equipment. That takes money, and people willing to give. Question to youth: Who has most of the money? Answer: Old People. Eagerness plus experience plus money, usually produces results. I think the secret is respect. It doesn’t matter who starts it, but it is usually reciprocated. Who is supposed to have the greater wisdom?
There are different types of churches and ministries but usually, a multi generational church is a neighborhood family church. It may be large or small. The bigger it is, the more likely it is to have separate worship by age, so as to avoid the issues we are discussing. I do see the need for this, but I also think it contributes to weakening family bonds and contributing to the generation gap. On an ongoing basis there must be “family worship” where all are expected to attend and contribute, and there is something for every generation that lets them know they are loved and wanted. Rotate and schedule if you must. Usually one person (worship leader) can not come up with enough ideas on their own to make this happen. I am from a large church and denomination that is very big on committees, teams, and advisory groups. Lots of people get involved. Isn’t that what we want. This is all kind of vague and general, so let me give you 2 specific experiences.
Number one.) In the main worship service, the children’s minister would get all the young children (4 or 5 yeas old) as a group on stage,and have them sing a song. Then the pastor would sit them down around himself and he would tell them an interactive Bible story. There were lots of aunts and uncles, and grand parents, and video cameras and oohs and aahs, and lots of “new” people to hear the Gospel.
Number two.) Since it is a large church with a good number of professional or near professional musicians, our worship leader saw a need for young drummers to participate. He got about 8
Jr.high and high school drummers to make a drum line on stage and they tastefully participated in a worship song. At the end they crescendoed into a march that lasted about 16 measures and the congregation erupted into spontaneous applause and cheering. If you think drums are not appropriate, Psalm 150:5 Praise the Lord on a high sounding (meaning loud) cymbal. The wisdom was keeping the context of the song and march separated.
In summation, use imagination and variety. Don’t be afraid to ask and consult. Everyone has opinions and ideas. Sometimes just asking what they think makes them feel included. But, we need the courage to see past ourselves and see that other people have ideas, and likes and dislikes and needs. Corporate worship should be inclusive. Truthfully answer this question. Is it about worshiping God, or is it about Me as I lead worship.
sincerely, Don Simpson
Don, some great ideas here. Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you and your church value each generation and are getting them connected.
David, this is really good advice and it’s good outside of a generational setting where the differing opinions are about more than music style or volume.
#5 Listen to People – this is a never ending mission and it’s an art of the heart to help people know they are valued especially when we aren’t able to mold our ministry strategy to their liking because it doesn’t fit with the leadership’s vision.
Thanks for hitting this topic!
Thanks for commenting Alden! “Art of the Heart” – I like that!
this post is super helpful to me. Our church has all generations as well and its always hard to find a balance across the generations.
thanks!
As Andy Stanley would say, “It’s not a problem to solve but a tension to manage.”
One of the best ways I have found to balance the music is to balance the team. By that I mean, include both young and old musicians on every team. Most of the wrestling with which songs to play and how to play them is done by the team. I’ve been to so many contemporary churches that have only young musicians on their teams. They have a certain demeanor, a certain dress and hairstyle, and a certain monochromatic style of music (albeit contemporary), which frankly becomes kinda boring after a while. And it leads to churches that have a very specific constituent. I prefer to have musicians of every age on my team. If the team can’t work through these things, the body at large will be confused.
I think Thomas has a great understanding of the situation.
Alden’s “art of the heart” that’s good.
I think we must have a really similar church situation as I know exactly how it feels! Multigenerational is AWESOME but so incredibly challenging at the same time. Your first point is spot on…people can’t argue with your heart for worship. If it’s genuine, they’ll see it. Balance is also key when writing a setlist. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the latest songs and the ones that we personally prefer to sing but sometimes it means we end up leaving a portion of the older congregation behind as they can struggle to pick up new songs quickly.
It’s funny how much of a difference it makes if you just include ONE hymn in your set. Sometimes we joke about how as soon as you do a hymn you have the older ones ‘eating out of your hand’ haha not manipulation AT ALL! jokes
Random: Our church has a ‘gaggle’ (?) of elderly ladies as well! haha I get scared when one of them comes up to me to say something but every now and then they actually say something nice which is good. It’s not fun when they ring your HOME NUMBER to tell you what they think about something though.