“Worship was awesome today!”
“No it wasn’t. God is awesome.”
“Man, you did a great job leading us.”
“No I didn’t. Praise Almighty Jehovah on High!”
Compliments. They come and they go. We love to hear them but we don’t know how to respond to them.
If you are in any form of public ministry (which is basically everyone in ministry) you will be complimented. You will be looked up to. You will be someone’s hero.
To some degree, everyone has a fan club. How do you respond to praise without it getting to your head?
Humble Self Promotion?
Is it OK if we have some fun for a moment?
Nobody sets out to be self-absorbed.
We don’t sport T-shirts that say, “I’m awesome! Worship me! Recognize all the wonderful things that I do!”
No. We know better. We know that if we flat out try to be self absorbed jerks, nobody will like us. There’s a better way. I call it the “Praise God” method of self promotion.
Here’s how it works:
You probably do something well – whether that’s lead worship, preach, greet, write, clean, wipe butts, or sleep. And if you do it really well, you probably get recognized for it.
Picture this with me.
Someone comes up to you and says, “wow, you are an amazing worship leader!”
There’s two responses here:
- “Duh. Tell me something I don’t already know” (inherent in that sentence is a petition to resurrect the word “duh”. Are you in?).
- “Praise God.”
Think about the repercussions here. If you go option 1, that person might not like you any more. I wouldn’t either. If you go option 2, you’ve just increased your awesomeness.
No longer are you just an amazing worship leader. Now, you are an incredibly humble, amazing worship leader. They may even follow up the “amazing worship leader” comment with a “and you’re so humble about it” comment. Total win 🙂
In all seriousness, we are familiar with the awkwardness surrounding compliments in church. It’s like we just don’t know how to respond. Probably because there are verses in the Bible like 1 Peter 4:10-11:
“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: Whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
In everything, God needs to be glorified. It’s not an ideal to strive for. It’s a command to obey.
Life is about the glory of God. Every good thing in us is because of Him. So we don’t want to be arrogant and boastful, receiving compliments from people right?
Well, there’s more to the story.
Why People Compliment
Do you know why people compliment you? It’s probably pretty rare for someone to really worship or idolize you (unless you’re Justin Bieber, of course. Hi Justin, if you’re reading this).
Most often I believe people are simply wanting to acknowledge that they had a meaningful encounter with God and thanking you is a way for them to complete the experience. They feel better about themselves and better about what happened.
It’s a way for them to process what God did in their heart.
All you have to do is thank them.
Typically, I’ll say, “Wow, thank you so much. That is so encouraging to me. And thank YOU for worshiping with us. We couldn’t do what we do without people like you going hard after God with us!”
Me? I tend to be publicly humble and privately prideful. I don’t walk around talking about myself because that’s a turn off to people. I don’t trumpet my own awesomeness because that’s lame. But secretly I want to be known as humble. I want to have a reputation for it. Gross, right?
But living for the glory of God is less about what you say and more about who you are. It’s not so much about convincing people of your heart as it is having a heart for God.
I mean really cultivating one.
Doing stuff that nobody sees.
Having confidence in God’s opinion of You before you step into the spotlight.
Loving others, encouraging others, drawing attention to others and not yourself.
Doing your work in the strength that God supplies…so God gets the glory.
Be a certain kind of person…don’t just use big words and flowery responses.
Thank them and get back to living quietly, boldly, honestly for the glory of God.
I’d love to hear from you on this. How do you respond to compliments? What is your knee jerk reaction? Or, what are some terrible responses you’ve heard? Let us know in the comments.
[ois skin=”Beyond Sunday 2″]
Excellent article! If I’ve been leading from the front and see people engaging I try to say something to them afterwards as encouragement – it blesses me to see people choosing to engage and worship.
Same here, Dave. I love to express how people’s worship encourages me as a leader. So inspiring!
Hey David, this has been a recent topic within a Facebook group called Catholic Music Ministers. Every week, at the end of the recessional song that ends our liturgy, the congregation beings to applaud. At that point, everyone in my music group turns sideways to face the tabernacle where Jesus “lives”, and applauds with them all in order to redirect all of their praise to God. And, if anyone stops me to personally acknowledge the value that our music brought to the liturgy, I simply say, “thanks”.
Great podcasts and blogs, David. God bless you and your family and your devotion to bringing people closer to the Lord through the power of praise and worship music, which to me is a little gift of heaven on earth!
Thanks for the encouragement, Dave! Just curious – do you do more traditional music or modern?
Man, this used to be SO HARD FOR ME… I’d practically insult anyone who complimented me by digging up anything/everything that went wrong to disprove the complimenter. What a jerk thing to do, huh? So thankful God’s changed my heart on that one. Now it’s an opportunity to be humbled by a God who works ALL THINGS FOR GOOD – especially my less-than-perfect worship services – & uses me to bless others oft-times in spite of myself. Now a compliment warms my heart, & leaves me thankful to God.
So good, man. Me too – It’s almost like I felt it was my responsibility to degrade myself to remain humble and give glory to God. But I’m finding that living for His glory starts as an inward life posture and I can simply thank people for their kind words. I want them to feel blessed and encouraged.
Part of the reason people complement each other is to make a connection with each other. So when people complement me for leading worship I’ll say “thank you!” and then bring the conversation to something relational. If I don’t know them I’ll immediately ask their name and begin the relationship. If I already know them then I’ll ask them what God was speaking to them during worship. This is great feedback for understanding how worship is ministering to the congregation, btw. So instead of an awkward exchange, the conversation becomes a relationship-deepening experience. I try to remember I’m a pastor first, and that informs how I lead worship. Great blog and podcast!
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I appreciate the advice given here on how to respond positively while giving respect to God. It is always difficult to respond to positive feedback without sounding prideful and one thing that I have been doing recently is giving God the thanks for the success I have seen. With that being said, I will make sure to highlight the success of other people to become a more humble worshiper. Thanks again for the help!
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