Beyond Sunday Worship

Worship Podcast & Blog

15 Things You Can’t Say From the Stage

1. Are you going to worship or not?

2. Are you excited to worship? Might want to let your face know about it!

3.During that last song I farted like 4 times. That’s what I call a strong anointing.

4.I am personally going to pay for all of you to attend Clapping Workshop 101.

5. I don’t feel like worshiping today.

6. Once while I was throwing up all over my wife, God gave me this revelation…

7. I just feel like we’re supposed to worship for the entire service today. Pastor, please be seated.

8. So this song that I wrote last night is incredible. Wow. Chris Tomlin, who? I am such a great songwriter. Let me teach it to you.

9. Can we just lift up a crap of plaise this morning?

10. Our righteousness is like filthy rags. Sort of like the tambourine player over there.

11. Wow. That guitar solo was lacking in the skill department now, wasn’t it?

12. That worship was awful. Please just watch me closer this next song.

13. If you worship a little harder maybe you’ll lose a few pounds!

14. Just soak in the presence for a few minutes. I gotta run to the bathroom.

15. All I’m sayin’ is that it’ll be tough for Pastor to follow a worship set like that. We were unreal!

That’s all I’ve got. What else can’t say from the stage?

Comments

  4. Kristi Northup says

    “I want to sear your face”

    “I’m really nervous right now”

    One time I actually heard Dave Pedde say to an older crowd at a traditional church “Come hell or high water, we’re going to worship God.” it was pretty hilarious, but it’s probably best to stay away from cuss words.

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